10 Rules for a Foot-Free Mouth

I’ve made enough communication mistakes in my first forty years (especially in the past year) to identify a few rules that I generally don’t follow, but really should:

1) Never use profanity in anger (dirty jokes are up to you). Even if you have a valid gripe or point to make, you vaporize your credibility as soon as you drop an F-bomb.

2) Always use the most personal means of communication possible. Talk in person. If you can’t do that, pick up the damn (whoops rule #1) phone. No matter how bad your iPhone reception, it’s clearer than a text or email that has no intonation.

3) If you have to use text, keep it short and innocuous. Your voice is for real discussion. And if you do end up saying something intemperate (see rule #1), it’s far better to not have a written record.

4) Do not “reply all.”

5) No group emails. That’s why god invented Twitter, and the WInklevoss twins invented Facebook.

6) Call right back, really.

7) Don’t leave long, complex messages, emails, etc. No one will listen to/read them.

8) If you are angry or peeved with someone, have an imaginary conversation/argument/throwdown with them first. You’ll feel better and probably not sound so spastic when you actually speak to them (see rule #1).

9) If you have to send an important email, send it to yourself first. Read it an hour later, and imagine how you’d feel if you had sent it. If you still feel OK, send it for real.

10) Don’t subject friends to long lists like these (see rule #7).

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